i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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