I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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