May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
