So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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