THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
