Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize