On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
