this beer tastes like vomit already
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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