I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
