i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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