Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
