grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
