Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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