i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
