is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
