Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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