I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
