It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Actions speak louder than pants.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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