she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
