but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize