i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He better not be in your backpack
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize