erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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