i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize