I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
