quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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