I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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