i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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I need you to use more vowels.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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