Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
