I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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