in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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