i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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