I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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