I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
