fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
