we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
