friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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