shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just had sex on a roof
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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