Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
