I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
