She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
