We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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