butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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