She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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