these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
