We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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