It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
