it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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