oh god the rape fog is back!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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