thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
