if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
