We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
