Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
