I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
