i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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