I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
