Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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