I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
