He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
