in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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