yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
