once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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