So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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