What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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